Tiger Woods: The Breakdown!!!

 

So Tiger’s list of mpango wa kandos has risen to 15!!! OK realistically, we know men like some side action every now and then. But Tiger has taken it to the next level! How did he have time for it all? And think of the ones who haven’t come out yet! And to make it worse, the stories are way out there. These bishes have text msgs, emails, VOICEMAILS!!! Where they do that at??? Anyway, I’ve decided to give you guys a breakdown of the mistresses, with photos where I can. See all the goodies after the jump.

 

Mistress No. 1 is Rachel Uchitel. She is a former Las Vegas VIP host from Tao, now in New York, who claimed to have bed celebrities before but says she never kisses and tells. Some reports say Uchitel was unaware of all these other alleged mistresses and is not happy about the revelation. Uchitel reports put her alleged relationship with Woods within the last five months. Her last stated public position is she denies the allegations. However as the story developed, it was discovered that Rachel had been upgraded to the post of providing women for Tiger Woods.

 

Mistress No. 2 is Jaimee Grubbs. A reality tv star, she sold alleged voice mail and text recording of Tiger. Then a bartender in Vegas, now a bartender in Los Angeles, Grubbs was the first to give a direct quote admitting her alleged affair. Her position is that she was Tiger’s mistress, that he called just recently telling her to delete his name from her voice mail after his wife was onto him, and that he led her to believe they would be together in the future.

 

Mistress No. 3 is Kalika Moquin. A top nightlife executive in Vegas, Moquin was like Rachel, previously employed at Tao nightclub. Kalika would first not comment on the allegations, and later denied them to US Magazine. She is also believed to have been a ‘supply chain manger’ at Tiger Inc.

 

Mistress No. 4 is Jamie Jungers. The first non-nightlife woman to come forward, Jungers is a stunning model. British press labeled her a look-a-like to Woods’ own wife. She is a former employee of Trashy Girls Lingerie. She said she met Woods in Las Vegas and is the lady being credited with getting money from Tiger Woods to get a tummy tuck.

 

Mistress No. 5 is Mindy Lawton. The most unlikely of the alleged mistresses, a non model nor nightlife host, Lawton would be the first of the alleged group to live near Woods’ Florida home. Lawton’s was an affair that would last months including text messages spanning over one year. The 33-year-old pancake house waitress from Orlando claims she was dumped by Woods in 2007. According to the Post, it was her affair with Woods that was caught on camera by the National Enquirer, when he was snapped dropping her off at her trailer park. The threatening news later led to a Woods Men’s Fitness cover in exchange for the magazine’s silence about the alleged affair, the New York Post reports.

 

Mistress No. 6 is Cori Rist. While Lawton is one of the youngest alleged mistresses, claiming to have met Woods at age 20, Rist is one of the oldest of the alleged women at 31. Like Jungers, Rist is blond, slender, and a knockout. She does not deny the allegation saying “no comment … not at this time.” The 31-year-old swimsuit model reportedly met Woods at a Manhattan club last year before they began a sexual relationship that led to Woods flying her out to various secret locations for hook-ups, and her introducing the golfer to her 7-year-old son.

 

Mistress No. 7 is Holly Sampson. The 36-year-old from Los Angeles is a former porn star, who has starred in such films as “OMG, Stop Tickling Me” and “Flying Solo 2.” According to the Sun, she has neither confirmed nor denied her affair with Woods. Apparently she had told the world about the golfer in one of her ‘non formal’ interviews but the silly people didn’t pay attention!

 

Mistress No. 8 is reportedly an Orlando woman. Mike Parker in the Daily Star of England reports of what would now be alleged number 8: “The 25-year-old “VIP server” at an Orlando club  is now planning to reveal details of their relationship. Her attorney Michael O’Quinn confirmed: “She will address the media with her story very soon.” The as yet unnamed mistress claims their affair began in 2004, when she was 20 and continued after he married Elin in October of the same year. Mr O’Quinn added: “We will not be confirming or denying any further details until after a press conference, which will happen imminently.”

Mistresses Nos. 9 & 10 are reportedly British women. According to Fox: “Two more alleged mistresses have been fingered by the British press. The Sun reports one is a television broadcaster, and another is a mysterious “….cougar.” The broadcaster is rumoured to work for UKTV.

Mistress No. 11 is Joslyn James. Adult film star actress Joslyn James, according to sports site Deadspin, Fox News and the Huffington Post, is one of the women who allege an affair with Tiger. She would talk about “all the freaky sh!t Tiger dug in bed,” according to a “co-worker.” James, whose real name is Veronica Siwik-Daniels, and who specializes in kinky sex, was Woods’ “full-time” mistress, several sources have reported. Siwik-Daniels / Joslyn James has provided “years of faithful service to [Woods'] virulent sexual appetite,” according to one woman who knows her.

 

Mistress No. 12  is referenced in a new preview from the National Enquirer which reports: “But more and more women emerge almost daily claiming liaisons with the father of two. The ENQUIRER even received an incredible call that one woman who had an affair with Woods in June 2007 aborted his child.”

Mistress No. 13 is referenced in a new preview from Life and Style. Life and Style reports that famed biographer Ian Halperin said a woman told him in 2007 that she was Tiger Woods’ mistress at the time. “Celebrity biographer Ian Halperin tells Life & Style, “Two years ago, a woman approached me with an audio file supposedly of Tiger Woods having phone sex. She wanted me to do a story on it. It sounded like him, but I had no proof.” If one of Tiger’s women does have footage, she could get millions. “A Tiger …. tape could be worth $5 million, possibly as high as $10 million,” Steven Hirsch …. tells Life & Style.”

Mistress No. 14 is referenced in a new report in Radar Online which says yet another woman has come forward as an alleged mistress, and like Rachel Uchitel, has retained Gloria Allred. No details are revealed by the website in their exclusive. The report claims that the woman is not among the previous women who have asserted allegations.

Mistress No. 15 is Loredana Jolie. According to a Hollywood Madam,  Michelle Braun, Tiger Woods would spend up to $15,000 to meet with Loredana Jolie.  She also claims that Tiger Woods liked three-ways and was rarely with just one girl, according to New York Daily News.

 

So there you have it! The entire cast of characters…at least for now. The one question I have is, if you’re a hooker, do you qualify as a mistress? Just asking…

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