So much has been said about whether or not to remain celibate before marriage. Times have changed, people’s views have changed, and even social standards for relationships have changed. Through it all, some people prefer to hold fast to tradition and keep sex within the marital institution. I think it’s remarkably difficult, but as some have proven, it’s something that can be done.
Ebony Magazine recently caught up with newlywed Tamera Mowry Housley and it looks as though she is quite passionate about ‘no sex before marriage’. She revealed to the publication that she was abstinent before she got married to Fox News Anchor Adam Housley and she does not believe a couple should live together before marriage.
EBONY: Tamera you mentioned in an interview that you and [your husband, Fox News Correspondent] Adam [Housley] not only didn’t live together, you also remained celibate until you married last year. Why did you choose that route and do you have any advice for your fans who are trying to follow in your footsteps in that regard?
TAMERA: Adam and I took a break from dating for about a year. We missed each other and something was drawing us together, but more than that, we wanted to make sure that this relationship was what God wanted for our lives. [In order to know] if we are meant to be together, we said, ‘it’s got to be God’s way and not our way.’ We didn’t want to half-step anything [or have clouded judgment]. So our right way was the way we felt God wanted us to do it which was being celibate. We said to God, ‘This is who we are, I know you take us as we are, our faults, our fears, our joys, our hope as a couple and have your way.’ (more…)
Nothing inspires you to want great love in your life more than seeing it in action, right in front of you. Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker, have been married for seven years after meeting on the set of Showtime’s Soul Food over ten years ago. Now, the two are ready to dish on how they have managed to maintain a successful marriage.
They caught up with Essence.com during the Valentine’s Day season and dished on the keys to a successful marriage. Boris says that being best friends is number one on the list. Nicole tells the ladies to tone down the nagging and stop following the ‘how to keep your man’ advice from your girls (Can I get an AMEN???). According to Nicole, your man will notice a good home cooked meal before he notices how great you look in those new shoes or purse.
Boris: I think what’s important is that you’re friends and that you like each other. That’s number one. If you like each other, you have fun with each other and you make each other laugh. You enjoy each others presence then that’s a great foundation to have, first of all. We make each other laugh and keep it sexy. It’s like with everything else — if you want to be successful in a business you have to work everyday to make that happen. A relationship is no different. If you want a relationship that’s flourishing and great and fun and successful, you’ve got to put effort into it every day. We try to do that for each other and with each other. (more…)
Dating these days is quite complicated. I feel like men these days are nothing like our grand fathers. There was a certain standard men aspired to when it came to relationships. Women were put on pedestals and treated like queens. I was out with a friend of mine the other day at a house party. Only beer was available and I do not drink the frothy stuff. So he made a quick run to the store for something for me to drink. I kid you not, every guy there gave him grief about it. They were saying that he must have a crush on me to go out of his way like that because they would have made me drink whatever was available. It was just so saddening. A brother was just being a gentleman.
Anyway, thank goodness for men like Boris Kodjoe. They restore my faith in the male species. Boris, who has been married to Nicole Ari Parker for the last six years, recently gave some good insight into what a ‘Good Man’ should be while conversing with model/actress Claudia Jordan. Claudia tweeted that her mother told her to find ‘some rich, ugly producer and marry him’ because of her troubles with finding a quality man in LA. Boris responded:
“Why he gotta be ugly? Honestly, I think LA is cancerous for relationships. The hustle mentality and ‘gotta make it’ attitude keeps people from cultivating a real connection. No one has time to take anyone in. Everyone is self-centered and wants to ‘keep it moving’ Dudes here are so insecure that they have to switch up a girl every week to hide their ‘weaknesses’. A real man embraces them!”
From that response, he went on to create the trending topic, #How2baMan, where he shared what he believes are qualities that all men should possess. Check them out below: (more…)