Fashion Faux Pas Kenyan Women Love To Make
I don’t know about you, but I’m finding it harder each day to walk in the streets of Nairobi without wanting to stop a woman just to find out if she has a mirror at home that she uses before stepping out the door. Some women look shocking and atrocious! Not everything that’s in fashion will look good on you! Let me share with you a few things that throw me into cardiac shock, thus shortening my life expectancy.
Weaves. Old, bad, ugly, shiny looking weaves. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, intervene and save us from this plague. I think I should sue Darling for what their products are doing to me. I’m not hating on weaves. Lord knows I am a lifetime believer in weaves. But weaving does not mean throwing a possum looking creature on your head and walking around with it for 3 months. Ladies, please visit a QUALIFIED hair stylist with enough experience in the art of weaving. See me after class if you need some help with that. And do not let it sit on your head for more than 3 weeks! And while we’re at it, give it up with the Rihanna weave. Rihanna has switched up her style like 10 times since and y’all are still rocking it feeling fresh. Sidebar: Just coz she’s now rocking red hair does not mean you should too.
Stop following the trend of the moment. What is wrong with originality when it comes to fashion sense? Right now the streets are awash with those horrid gladiator sandals. Yeah, I said gladiator sandals. They are neither cute nor sexy. So just stop, please. They remind me of the calamity that was the ballet flats.
Another thing – if I see one more badly dressed person on Fashion Cop trying to make those knee-high argyle socks work I think I might kill myself. If Sarah Jessica Parker couldn’t do it, why do you insist?
Usually when I shop for shoes, I try the shoe out in different sizes to see what fits best. Sometimes it’s my exact size. Other times it’s a size smaller or a size bigger depending on the style of the shoe. So why would you force yourself into shoes that are quite obviously not for you? Hint: When your toes are scraping the floor, or you can feel a breeze passing between your toes, please leave those shoes alone. There are plenty of other fish in the sea and I assure you that no one’s feelings will get hurt. The shrimp cocktail effect will be a turn off even to the shamba boy who has no idea what shrimp cocktail effect is.
Then there’s what I like to call VBS – Visible Bra Syndrome. The only people who should be seeing parts of your bra are you, your gyno and your significant other. It is not cute and you don’t look hot. You actually look like a mad, homeless woman. Don’t believe me? Take a look:
If you still think that looks hot, there’s something seriously wrong with you. There’s always the option of a strapless bra or just cover yourself up!
I think I’m done ranting for the day. There’s plenty more but I do have a life. Gentlemen, don’t feel safe yet. I will also be pointing out your nutty fashion sense in the coming days.