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Valentine’s Day DON’Ts For Men

Most men are totally clueless when it comes to Valentine’s Day. I think most of them would prefer to pack up and head to shags until the whole thing is over and done with. Unfortunately for them, women watch soap operas and telenovelas so the bar has been set pretty high for them. Not to panic! I’m here to give you a few tips on what NOT to do so that you come out looking like the knight in shining armour that women dream about.

First on the list – DON’T assume that your girl does or does not celebrate Valentines. While most women love being pampered on that day, some of us would love for you to do it every day. Therefore, celebrating the day specifically on February 14th may be taken as an insult and could even earn you a cold night on the couch. Discuss Valentine’s Day with the person you are dating. If one of you loves the holiday and the other can’t bear it, come up with a compromise. And for goodness sake, if you know she does celebrate it, make a conscious effort not to forget that it’s Valentine’s Day!!!

If you plan on taking her to dinner, DON’T forget to make reservations. There’s nothing as irritating as dressing up, making your way to the restaurant, only to head back home because someone did not think it necessary to make reservations. Valentine’s Day is usually a busy day for most fine establishments so to avoid having to wait or ruining the day altogether, please ensure you have confirmed reservations. Unless, of course, your idea of a fine establishment is Kenchic. In that case, just wing it.

Now this one should be a basic rule but I’ve seen many men massacre it. Gentlemen, DON’T order for her. Yes, we do like our men strong and macho, but regardless of what you might think, women do have brains that are capable of processing what item on the menu might be conducive for her metabolism at that particular moment. Suggestions are welcome but please let her have the final say on what she should ingest. Please and thank you. And while we are at it, DON’T order first. When your mother told you it’s always ladies first I hope you were listening.

Now I know it’s football season and the EPL is really heating up. However, DON’T take her to a sports bar or anywhere with a TV that’s tuned on anything sports related. Take her where SHE wants to go instead of where YOU want to go! Your holiday is next month on March 14th, when everyone celebrates Steak & Blowjob Day. Forget about that for now… Focus on romance and make her feel special.

DON’T answer your phone. There’s a time and place for everything. Valentine’s Day is not when your phone should be ringing constantly. Tell your mum, sister, best friend, or clande to chill on the calls and texts. Or better still, just switch off your phone.

When it comes to gifts for her, DON’T get her kitchen appliances. It really irks me when I see guys do that. Those are for the house. There’s a clear difference between a human being and a structure. A new blender is not—I repeat, is not—romantic. Whatever gift you choose should be nice and out of the ordinary.

Now this one is tricky because I know most men do this. I just have to go on the DON’T bandwagon with this one. DON’T fall into the lingerie trap. Unless you really know what your partner wants to wear. And if you absolutely have to get her lingerie, be sure you know her size. Nothing kills the mood faster than buying panties a size too small (or large *shock*) or a bra two sizes too large. And for some folks, the overly lacey stuff is cheap, not sexy.

DON’T get swept up and propose on Valentine’s Day if you’re not really, really sure. Shopping for a bracelet or necklace can snowball into a quest for an engagement ring. If you choose to go that route, keep in mind that men are advised to spend two months’ salary on an engagement ring… You may think that’s alot but it ensures you have really thought about the step you’re about to take.

Last, but definitely not least, DON’T cancel. If you don’t make it to the V-Day date, you’d better bring back proof that you were in jail or don’t bother showing up to her crib ever again. Instead of “that time of the month”, it’ll *usually* be “that time of the *WEEK*” when it comes to you getting some, so you’d be better off just starting all over with a new chick.

Happy Valentine’s Day people 🙂


2 responses

  1. Steak & BJ Day pencilled in calendar.’…that time of the WEEK’…lol. You cracked me up. Happy Valentine’s. xx

    February 8, 2011 at 3:51 pm

  2. Pingback: Valentine’s Day DON’Ts For Women « That Bad Bitch

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