LeToya Luckett: How to be a Boss Single Lady
Women are always bombarded with advice on how to get a man or keep a man. It’s not very often someone speaks out on how successful women can be happily single. Former Destiny’s Child member, LeToya Luckett, is a single lady and one of the newest castmembers on VH-1′s hit show “Single Ladies,” where she portrays record exec Felicia Price, a deliciously evil boss chick. Beginning of the year is the perfect time for her to share her single lady tips. I find them really relevant in today’s world because more women are making it to the top, and finding a man who’s not threatened by a woman’s success can be really difficult. Check it out:
Fix yourself before you get into a relationship.
You hear it all the time growing up: in order to love someone else you have to love yourself. That is the truest statement.You gotta clean house. It’s things that you see growing up that you think is right because you saw it that way, that you have to say, ‘Wait a minute, hold on, that might not fit me. I want to change that part, I want to break that generational curse. I want to not be afraid to love. I don’t want to be insecure, I want … like, you literally have to fall in love with yourself before you can give yourself, in a relationship.’ A lot of time we, as women, find ourselves cooking, cleaning, loving, being the therapist, the pastor, the everything. And by the end of the relationship you’re exhausted, left with nothing and you’ve made so many deposits, and there have been so many withdrawals that you have nothing left. And I refuse!
Pray — a great deal.
I literally, the other day, made a list and a prayer to God – I don’t want to call it a list, but my prayer – was that God brought me someone that he has been working on specifically for me, because I know no one comes on this earth perfect. And I’m definitely not perfect, but to prepare my mind for whoever he’s bringing into my life and to fix me first. I want to be healthy, I want to be right, I want to be strong, mentally, physically — all these different things — and open to love with a clean house. Don’t nobody want to move into a messy house. Who wants to come in there? And we try to cover it with a little bit of Lysol! You got to really get out there and clean all the things that you saw growing up, things that you went through past relationships, clean house before you let someone in.
Don’t get caught up in the craziness. Especially if you’re a boss woman doing boss things.
It’s funny because people think that because you’re in a certain light, and because everybody might know your name, that it should be easier and men are just flocking and falling. No, no, no. The honest truth is, 1.) the guys that aren’t in your industry, a lot of times, are terrified to come and speak to you. They are like, ‘Oh my God, there’s no way I could live up to that or do that with this or, I ain’t got enough money in my pocket. So they don’t speak to you at all. Rarely. If they do, you’re like, “What are your intentions? What do you want me for?” Whatever. But then people in your industry, you know all their options and … I mean, they’re wanted and you hear men are as good as their options, but it’s real out here. It’s hard in these entertainment streets to find something that’s real and it really takes you stepping out of that plane and trying to draw something in that is pure and real! Because if you get caught up in this craziness, you’ll start to attract that and wonder, “How did I get here? Who are you? What in the … heck is going on? How did I…” But I, thank God, we were kept so protected that I was never really exposed to that like that. You know what I’m saying? You see us, we (former members of Destiny’s Child) don’t have like 15 husbands and having been through divorces … if we’re not married with kids already then, we’ve had steady relationships!
Skip the insecure dudes. Like, for real.
It really is hard as a female entertainer in a male-dominated industry to have your own checks and find somebody that’s gonna be secure with that. “Oh, so you telling me you in the studio with Tank and them til three in the morning?!” And I’m like “Um … Tank wrote half my last album and yes his girl was … whatever!” But at the same time, I’ve dealt with trust issues. Like travel. “Oh, you in Dubai?!” Me: “I got a show!” How many men understand a walkthrough? An appearance at a club? You think I wanna be there in that smoke? In a fishbowl with people taking pictures and I’m just trying to dance? If I was a drinker, then they can make assumptions that I’m drunk cause I fall out laughing. But I don’t — thank God nobody’s caught that because I’m not a drinker like that — but you have to watch every move you make.
Every bit of your relationship isn’t for everybody.
You see all these entertainers, unfortunately, having to go through make ups and breakups publicly. Then one of them moves on, and you can’t go to the bar. But everybody knows when your person moves on, and you have to physically now see pictures of them. I ain’t putting now pictures out! There won’t be no pictures out, no nothing. Nope. Don’t nobody know ‘til I see a ring. You will earn your way on my Instagram page! But you have to be very careful and you have to be guarded, which is hard because you’re trying to be free and open up to people and get out of your shell. But you have to be guarded to prevent you from getting hurt worse than you would be.
If all else fails, take a boss chick vacation!
Girl, the pot at the end of the rainbow is when stuff don’t work you can hop on a plane to Maui, honey, and just go lay out somewhere and buy your own stuff! Like, ‘you know what? I’m buying a bag. I’m a go to Chanel!’ There are some entertainers with healthy relationships. They have made it work. Imagine how our president feels? The entire world knows when stuff goes wrong. I think we have a great example in White House right now, so shoot, I can only pray for mine. I’m not in a rush to be in a relationship. I want one, but I want God to do it, because when I do it, it ain’t all the way right.