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Opinion Pieces

Tyler Perry: I Owe My Success to the Grace of God

Tyler Perry is a controversial man. People either love his work with a passion, or hate it with a passion. Some have even slammed him for his stereotypical depiction of black people. The one thing everyone can agree on is that he is amazingly successful at what he does. Perry wrote and produced many stage plays during the 1990s and early 2000s. In 2005, he released his first film, Diary of a Mad Black Woman. In 2011, Forbes named him the highest paid man in entertainment, earning $130 million between May 2010 and 2011.

All his success didn’t happen overnight but you too can learn his secret to success. Earlier this week, Perry posted a video blog on his Facebook fan page that gave a lot of inquiring minds an answer to the million dollar question –“How did you make it?” In the video, he reveals that a lot of people try to have  hundreds of trades in hopes that something will pop off and they will become a millionaire but Perry believes you should try something simpler. “Narrow your focus to one idea and make it work. It will give birth to all the others,” he said.

This is what he had to say about his journey of how he went from living in his car to being one of the highest paid men in entertainment:

There’s only one answer for that and I say this all the time in the press but people cut it out of articles or they don’t want to print it or they don’t want to say it. The truth be told, it was nothing but the grace of God. Nothing But The Grace of God.

You can plant seeds all day long; you can go around giving your business cards to people. You can go around knocking on doors and auditioning; you can do all of that every day of your life and for most people nothing happens. When a seed is planted in the ground all you can do it water it. You cannot control the sunshine. You cannot control the weather and you cannot control what the locust will come and try to destroy. All you can do is plant your seed in the ground, water it and believe. That is what allowed me to be in this position right now. (more…)


Should Women Carry Condoms?

I don’t usually pay attention to anything about Producer and Black Eyed Peas frontman Will.I.Am, but he recently sat down with ELLE, to discuss what he won’t tolerate in a relationship. Surprisingly, one of his pet peeves include a woman who keeps condoms at her house. Check out an excerpt from the interview:

If you walked into a woman’s house, what one item would convince you that you weren’t compatible?
If she had condoms in her house, that would just f–kin’ throw me off. That’s just tacky.

Well, okay, I could see if she had a candy bowl full of them on the coffee table. But if she’s got a few in a drawer, wouldn’t that simply suggest she’s health-conscious?
I just think, like, if you’re into someone and you guys get to that level, then that’s something you should converse about together and say, “Hey, maybe we should get some.”

From what I understand, he’s pulling the “I was not consulted” line, and as a Kenyan, let me tell you I’m sick and tired of hearing that shit. At the risk of TMI, carrying a condom is something that I’ve done quite frequently (Mummy please don’t cringe or put your shock face on when you read this 🙂 ). Women who don’t carry condoms or don’t keep them somewhere close get on my nerves and confuse me. Unless they’ve made a conscious decision to be celibate and are sticking to it. I’m not talking about the female condom. I actually have one at home but I’m yet to try it. It just doesn’t look too comfortable. I’m talking about the regular male condoms. (more…)

Are You The Marrying Kind?

I know I’m not the only one who has often wondered why Halle Berry has a difficult time with relationships. As hot as she is, you’d think a man would do everything in his power to make things work with her. In last year’s September issue of Vogue magazine, she revealed that she realized we are not meant to go the distance with everybody. She is currently dating French actor Olivier Martinez, who she met on the set of “Dark Tide”.  Although they’ve been getting pretty serious, Halle recently revealed that the traditional form of marriage is not for her, and she won’t be getting married again.

“I wish I had known then that I was not the marrying kind. It would have saved me a lot of time, heartache and grief over the years.

I made all the wrong choices when it came to love. I have been an idiot. But, now, it is like a gift to myself – seeing more clearly and making better decisions. One thing was unavoidable. My father left us when I was young and that did affect my life. If I had a good father in my life, growing up, then I do not think I would have made the mistakes I made. I would not have been lost in love. (more…)

Should Women Propose to Men?

I’ve been accused of being a tad old fashioned. A few reasons are that I refuse to chase after a man, I refuse to use “new” dating techniques such as meeting people online (specifically Facebook. FB is the devil) and I refuse to propose to a man. Sue me. I just won’t do it. I’m not totally prehistoric, don’t get me wrong. I will go half on bills, although I still believe a man should bear more responsibility financially if you’re living together. It’s just the way things should be. If you’re living with a man and you find that more often than not, you’re worried about whether you’ll make the rent or school fees for your kids, then  you do not have a man. You have an extra child to think about.

Before the men start throwing stones, please think back to the days of our grandfathers. The woman’s primary role was to care for the home and the kids. I’m not saying that women could not work. My grandmother was a very successful teacher and Chairlady of an African women’s organization. My grandfather was secure enough in his manhood to handle the bills, and still let his wife be her own person. (more…)

Would You Keep Your Ex’s Name After Divorce?

Such a complicated issue. Would you and should you keep your ex-husband’s last name after a divorce? I’m so tempted to say no. Actually, I never understood why we should let go of our maiden names when we get married. However, my fiance is adamant that I should take his when we do get married. The jury’s still out on that one. But what happens when a marriage ends? I think taking back your last name is a powerful way to feel reborn, and most marriages end on a bad note anyway so why not start afresh? Tameka Foster Raymond, Shaunie O’neal and Kimora Lee Simmons are just a few of the women who have chosen to keep their ex’s name. Shaunie O’neal is still using hers and this is what she had to say about it: (more…)

Valentine’s Day DON’Ts For Women

Yesterday we tackled the all-important DON’Ts for our male counterparts. Today, let’s focus on us. Women get really excited on Valentine’s Day. At my work place, it seems the ladies get divided into two categories on that day: those who received flowers and those who didn’t. Needless to say, despite all the excitement it can be a very trying time for some of us. If you’re lucky enough to have a Valentine, the work doesn’t end there. There are quite a few things you need to keep in mind.

DON’T have unreasonably high expectations. Let’s face it. Men are already confused and don’t even understand why this day is important for most of us. Don’t pile on the pressure and have him walking around like a zombie. If possible, let him know before hand that you are not expecting the world from him. His efforts should come from the heart and that’s all that matters. (more…)

Valentine’s Day DON’Ts For Men

Most men are totally clueless when it comes to Valentine’s Day. I think most of them would prefer to pack up and head to shags until the whole thing is over and done with. Unfortunately for them, women watch soap operas and telenovelas so the bar has been set pretty high for them. Not to panic! I’m here to give you a few tips on what NOT to do so that you come out looking like the knight in shining armour that women dream about.

First on the list – DON’T assume that your girl does or does not celebrate Valentines. While most women love being pampered on that day, some of us would love for you to do it every day. Therefore, celebrating the day specifically on February 14th may be taken as an insult and could even earn you a cold night on the couch. Discuss Valentine’s Day with the person you are dating. If one of you loves the holiday and the other can’t bear it, come up with a compromise. And for goodness sake, if you know she does celebrate it, make a conscious effort not to forget that it’s Valentine’s Day!!! (more…)